It’s been interesting.
Having so many conversations about race, equality, the state of our Nation.
As frustrating as it is sometimes, I feel like I am continually discussing these issues with former versions of myself. (Which is both fun and hella strange at the same time).
And that’s what gives me hope.
It can feel hopeless to hold up truth, in all it’s brilliant glory, before hard hearts (and the reason why these hearts are hard, breaks MINE but that’s a topic for another post) and have them choose to close their eyes to it. It can feel like an impossible feat to even get our country to the place where they will admit there is a problem in the first place, let alone agree on what’s to be done about it.
And yet….all I must do is remember where I started, not so very long ago….
((Cue the hazy fade to a past version of Vanessa))
Knee deep in moral superiority. Knee deep in my convictions that capitalism was pure and perfect. Knee deep in my security blanket of ONE right way and all the rest being wrong. Knee deep in my beliefs that equal rights were legislated some time ago and racism was fixed. Conservatism was basically God’s chosen political perspective and liberalism was Satan’s tool to destroy. (Oh my gosh…just typing that last one makes me die laughing…but if I’m being honest, that was me)
I was convinced, I stood on the only and complete truth.
All the rest being wrong.
ALL THE REST BEING WRONG.
To close off one’s mind to any alternative having a shred of correctness because that would me YOU are wrong (because there can ONLY be ONE right way), and when your life has been BUILT, with blood sweat and tears, on the perspective you have chosen, it feels like much too big an ask to consider shifting. There’s too much to shift. There’s too much I’ve built. There’s too much at stake! My whole life would crumble.
Fear is a powerful force and it can shut down parts of our vision, brain, heart.
Here’s how I started to shift…and here’s how I think others can too (with time).
Curiosity + compassion.
Curiosity happened when people I respected, who were full of kindness, and intelligence, and a deep spirituality, held a view I thought was only held by “bad people”.
Of course, I had to MEET these people and they mostly existed outside of my bubble. Outside of the homogenous friend pool I had been pulling from of church, homeschool group, ethnic group, etc.
And as our relationship deepened, I kept asking myself: How could these amazing individuals – who I KNEW were smart and kind and even better people than I was – how could they hold such a 100% EVIL view?? Am I missing something? Maybe I don’t know as much about that view as I thought I did…
MAYBE I DON’T KNOW AS MUCH ABOUT THAT VIEW AS I THOUGHT I DID.
Curiosity.
Let me learn.
I’m not ready to change my belief yet (oh, no, no, no, no)
But, I’m starting to wonder if I have made some assumptions that aren’t true…
As I started learning, I found a few things…
- Someone can have a good heart and come to a flawed conclusion.
- What seems clear from my point of view and life experiences, doesn’t always make sense from another perspective.
- If I look at the underbelly of my views, it’s not as pure as I would have liked to believe, and that’s scary – especially if my beliefs form my identity. (side note from personal experience: don’t intertwine your beliefs with your identity…start untangling that real quick!)
- There are actually some things in the opposing perspective that I don’t think are wrong.
I started turning both view points around, like a Rubik’s cube, that looked simple, but the more the pieces started to move and turn the effects on the rest of the puzzle started to frustrate me. Nothing was falling into place in my “one right perspective vs. one wrong perspective” paradigm.
I started to realize that I could be standing on some truth…and the opposing view could ALSO be standing on some truth.
I COULD BE STANDING ON SOME TRUTH AND THE OPPOSING VIEW COULD ALSO BE STANDING ON SOME TRUTH.
This shift from black or white, good or bad, right or wrong, 100% pure or 100% vile was the first and most MONUMENTAL shift for my internal progression.
Part 2….coming soon